Hello. . .

My name is Justine. . .hrmm? That is a bit dull isn't it? Hello I am Justine, 30, fabulous, looking for a smart, sexy, outgoing, fun (but not flirty, well not too flirty, or flirty with me-not-with-over-sexed-female-bartenders is okay, maybe not. . .no flirting), successful, likes baseball (the greatest game in the world, even if the White Sox cheated, the Red Sox were cursed, the Yankees overpaid and the Dodgers in Los Angeles, it is still amazing and you must love it), drinks but not too much, likes all things in film or television, but doesn't take life too seriously, has a sense of humor, must love dogs. . . .NOT MARRIED, recently divorce, have emotional baggage, crazy ex-girlfriends, children, or be a mamma's boy.

I type in the words, but they all sound stupid. I mean come on, why don't I just write something like this?

Justine, gorgeous brunette sick of all the complete wanks I meet at Starbucks, would like to meet Joe Fox(You've Got Mail) & Robby Hart(The Wedding Singer) type, must look and play (you know what I mean, I am no Christian) like Colin Farrell.

Do you think that would work? Or, perhaps, I could just say....no jerks, mean guys, wife beaters, cheaters (oh please), wimps, "nice guys", losers, unemployed or uglies need reply. Maybe that would be too rude.

Why I even signed up for this online dating thing I do not know. It isn't like I have a hard time dating. Secret, I even date celebrities. I do, really, I do..I am the girl that dates celebs, then wonder why my life never goes anywhere with them? Sally, my friend Sally, insisted I do this with her. To be honest, which I always am, she really needs something like this because she is hopeless when it comes to guys.

I click backspace over it all, and shut my laptop. (That was exhausting!) I decide to go out for a bit. And yes, I can do that. I am not working at the moment. In L.A. we like to call this "hiatus", and I am on "hiatus" in the way that the studio fired my butt after the John Carson debacle last season. It really wasn't my fault. He came on to me, and I didn't know that it would lead to more office gossip than I ever imagined. He was hot and so I went for it. (My biggest problem. . .leading my life with my heart, well not my heart, I am not sure what to call it, if I was a man, I would say; with my dick, but I'm not, so I am not sure...What do you think? Well you get the point.) He was the executive producer on the show, which my lawyer says I can't talk about in public, sorry, but I am sure you will read about it, and I was the newest writer on the team and we. . . and I got the ax. Apparently he was married. How was I to know that? Oh yeah, and she is the VP of the studio. Oops!